
''Im here, shes gone, all that remains of us...are these candles''
The sheets stained with our sweat and sex,
flashbacks of lip biting,
scratching my back,
screaming all that,
lost in the lust,
love kiss and touch,
me,
her,
us.
The air filled with a burning,
vanilla, strawberry and kiwi aroma
(our candles)
chased by our unique sex scent,
our performance accompanied,
by the finest effects,
as the moonlight highlights her black silhouette.
Donell Jones, Marvin Gaye, Luther V, and Babyface,
provide the commentary to our performance,
...and the beat drops....
....now were lost in indulgence,
feasting on each other as were switching positions,
outside of these walls we know no existence,
our breathing grows heavy,
but our desire is persistent,
thrusting feels good,
but now im the boat in her ocean,
controlled by her waves,
i am lost in the motion
her mouth opens but she struggles to speak,
then she bites on the pillow as she reaches her peak
she shivers and moans,
then collapses,
time passes . .
I lay down with her,
face to face,
I kiss her, stare into her eyes,
there aint nothing clearer.
Through our love making we have become one,
So when im alone and heart broken,
I remember she has the other piece,
as a remembrance token.
Perfect. There is so much beautiful imagery in this piece. So romantic, so sexy, so heartfelt. I simply love it. It goes perfect with my mood.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I am happy that my words were able to reciprocate an accurate portrayal of the moment :)
ReplyDeleteJust wrote you a longgggg response...and this stupid laptop decided to refresh the page then I was told I don't own my wordpress account o_O
ReplyDelete...so I'll be brief. I get the feeling two voices are struggling to dominate here though...
"there aint nothing clearer" and "our performance accompanied by the finest effects" could be two different poets...if you see what I mean? Maybe youre still finding your style?
...put a 'graphic content' warning on there lol.
When I was pass the shock of your fornication, loved:
"we have become one,
So when im alone and heart broken,
I remember she has the other piece,
as a remembrance token."
and
"outside of these walls we know no existence,
our breathing grows heavy,
but our desire is persistent"
you captured something hard to put into words in such a simple way. Gwarn Fronce.
Rae
Ahhh yeah i see what u say about the two voices, when i read it i see the same thing but when i say it out loud it makes more sense perhaps it wud go better with an audio, but thanks for this, the full blown Rachael analysis is always welcome
ReplyDeleteThat was beautiful!!
ReplyDeleteEspecially from "I am lost in the motion"...
Loved it!
Thanks Dee im happy that you liked it
ReplyDelete